It's R-A-C-E week

Akron. It's just days away...4 at the time I start typing this...

So here are my random thoughts...about this beloved race of mine that I am not running.

• This sucks. I'm okay though. No. I lie. I'm not okay. But I will be okay. Especially come November.
• I know I am doing the right thing by not running. For one, I am not trained. At. All. I cannot go out on that course with a clear mind and know I'm doing the right thing. That would be stupid. Sure, I didn't train for my first half. But I surely had ran more than 4 miles in the weeks leading up to it. Not only the physical "wrongness" of trying to do it, but the mental "wrongness" of it. I know I would end up in tears. Hell, I teared up at mile 2 on the 4Miler on Sunday. Cry for 13.1? No thanks. Don't need to add to the dehydration. 
• I am packing tissues with me when I walk my girls to the start line. It will tears of joy for them. And tears of sadness for me.  I'm happy they are here to experience. But I'm sad that I'm not running it. I sound selfish. But my sadness of not running it is more so because  not running it with MY DAD. You know, like we set out to do 11 months ago.  I guess I can look at it this way...I'm only letting him down and not a team if Speedy-Feet and I had gone on with the relay race and not the 1/2 again. But...it's still sad. 
• The AF Marathon also has a 5k race that is ran on the Friday night before the big races. My booth was positioned just perfectly near a door where I could watch the race. And I did. And I thought about what it would be like to watch the runners at Akron on Saturday. And I looked away. 

I am being absolutely ridiculous. I can tell myself that. But no on else can.

But as I'm finishing this post, 3 pre-race days, I went for a very brisk walk with Boss Lady this evening. And it felt AWESOME!  I could feel my legs and feet craving the attention. They felt alive! I felt alive! And on my way home, I texted Kelly and Aly to see if either of them wanted to do FARRELL Road real quick! (Kelly did it last night and told Aly and me). I had this sudden urge to go see if I could do it! Kelly was literally on her way out the door to go for her walk! SCORE! We walked a little; I ran/jogged a little. 2 1/2 times total! That's up twice, down twice, and half way up once and back down. I think that math is correct.  And it felt AMAZING! Dare I say I missed FARRELL Road?!    Ask me in the morning. I'm icing my foot now as a precaution!  

So all in all, I think I'm gonna be okay. I think I'm gonna get thru this because it have a new goal. And I KNOW I will be back next year at Akron! I. Know. It. 

Run. Strong. 

-t-

P.S. Typed this on my phone...no special effects...sorry for misspellings and ramblings!