CONFESSION...and some REALIZATION

You all see my FB posts regarding my runs and workouts. You see when I check-in at the gym, or the Rec Center. You see how far I go and what my time is. You see it all. I know. What I didn't know is how many of you take me so serious. 

Yesterday, Sunday 4/15/12, I set out to do 10 miles. I ended up doing 11, according to the UN-trusting iPod Nike app. But I did it. BFFAE Jen did it as well and so did our other "RunnerGirl friend who dresses in pink" Katie. BFFAE and I wanted to do this, and I had to do it, to see what high mileage at once would feel like on our bodies; if we could go that far; how long it would take us; and a plethora of other reasons. I, for one, wanted to see how my feet would feel. I was concerned about my feet. 

What I failed to mention in that post on FB once it was completed, and here comes the  

 CONFESSION... 

WE DID NOT RUN THOSE 11 MILES. We walked. We walked very fast. So fast that the last 2 miles or so I had to do a little jog to catch up with them and then continued jogging to stay up with them for brief moments. 

And since yesterday, I have been disappointed. Remorseful. Regretful. I didn't run. And I feel like I led everyone astray thinking I did. At any point I could have posted and said I didn't run. That I actually walked it. Power walked. And jogged the last 1-2 miles intermittently. But I didn't. And why didn't I????? All day my phone dinged with notifications on FB. 

I was tired! I. Was. Tired. My feet were a little sore, but not too terribly bad. But I was tired. 

And here is the REALIZATION....

It was a great 11 mile WALK, if you prefer. It was refreshing. It was confidence boosting. It was insightful to what that half is going to feel like. It was also insightful, only after the fact, to the realization that I can do this. 

And I can tell you this...I will do this. I will run this. I will defy the odds and finish strong. If only to make it up to all my friends and family and followers and supporters (F3S) for the deceit I feel like I portrayed in that 11 miles on Sunday, April 15, 2012. I may not run all of it, but I will run it.

And I will be out running 3x this week, a minimum of 4 miles each run. And it will be a run. For me. 

CCRG stated so perfectly for me when I left her a message on her FB page...

"There are no rules on how fast it must take you to get to where you want to go! Only you and letting others pace dictate your own happiness with your running. You are just as amazing as me and I run 8min miles and I am just as amazing as the elite that runs them in 6min miles! We all give 100% and when I run a race- We say "Run Strong" Your Strong Tami- whatever it is on that day- cause that day is not here yet! Ok- You have time to keep getting stronger- each long run prepares you more and more! You reached your goal and surpassed it and that is GREAT and now because you pushed your legs and runnergirl heart you will be even stronger on the next long run! "

And so on my next long run this coming weekend, whether it be 8 or 10 or 11, I will push myself to do this. And I will RUN MORE in those miles than I did this past weekend because  

I KNOW I CAN! Because I am STRONG.