*Less than stellar*

That is about how I have been feeling the last couple of days. Illness. Sickness. Just plain yuckiness. Thought maybe it was allergies, at least 3 weeks ago that is what I attributed it to. This week, pretty sure it's more than allergies. Swallowing feels like shards of glass. Ears feel like someone is jabbing screwdrivers in them. It's just downright painful from the neck up (no comments from the peanut gallery, please). 

I managed to get the Tempo run in Tuesday with Boss Lady, Cristen, Kelly, and a newbie to our group, Katie. That was different. It was hard. I would even say hateful. The first mile was great good. Yeah, just good. I could have sworn the Tempo pace was 11:45. Turns out it should have been 11:15. I did 11:47. I realllllly wanted to stop after that first mile for just a minute to breathe. No. Boss Lady was mean (wink).

Boss Lady:  "Training Planner said no stopping". 

Me: "Training Planner isn't here."  

Keep running. Fine. Mile 2 I am seriously dragging behind. Boss Lady finally allowed to walk about 50 feet (to the stop sign). And boy did I milk that! The last mile was still dreadful, but it was a lot easier than mile 2! Even with the slight hill! And I finished. My miles were way off even the wrong goal pace. After it was all said and done, I did feel good. It felt good to get a solid, hard run in. And then I felt disappointment later that night....I could have done better. But I truly believe that whatever this crud is in my head/chest is what is dragging me down.
 

Katie, Kelly, Boss Lady, Me, Cristen

I need Training Planner to tweak this plan. It just seems a little to unrealistic. I hate to admit that and even think for a minute that I cannot meet my goal. Or that I am being lazy or weak. Or that I just suck. And maybe all these feelings of doubt and inadequacy are due to whatever this crud is I have in my chest and head. 

And you aren't going to believe this...

I missed hills this morning. I couldn't do it. I was so downright exhausted. My throat felt like it was on fire. My ears were pounding. My entire body felt like it had been put thru a meat grinder.  I have NEVER missed a run during training. Never. Ever. And today, I did. And I feel sooooo bad about it. Guilt. But honestly, there is no way I could have done it. I need that long run (8) this weekend. I have to feel better by Sunday. 

So I made a doctor appointment for this afternoon. I don't like going to the doctors (despite what some people think).  I need an inhaler. Nasal spray. Oxygen. Truckload of Kleenex. Please. I beg. Just make me feel better. Cause I don't have time to be sick. Too many people counting on me to run and train. I need to run and train. And being sick isn't in the cards.

And I hope, once I feel better, that my love of running and training come back! Cause right now, there is no love!  

Run.Strong.Sick.
-t-