Bleep! Car! Ouch!

That's Shirley and Amy in the background. I think they did the hills 7x!

At the start of this mornings workout, which was Fabulous Farrell Road hill repeats, 5x, I was certain all I was going to say on this post was "BLEEP" Farrell Road. I just was NOT feeling it this morning. Maybe it was the dam stairs yesterday. Or the lack of sleep the night before. Or maybe I just did not want to run. At least not run Farrell Road. So after the first hill I said "my blog is going to be titled "BLEEP FARRELL ROAD" and the body of the blog was going to say "enough said". And I was logging off. But as the hills continued, it started to get a little bit more interesting. And maybe a little bit easier. But I still was not feeling it in my head. Legs were fine. Feet were fine. Mind, not so fine.  

I've been in a bit of a funk for the last week or so. Not sure what it is. Work stinks. That could be a big part of it. Maybe the funk is due to it being the middle of my training plan. Maybe I am a little bored. I don't know. But today, it got in my head and the whole run felt like a downhill tumble.

There were funny parts. Like during the downhill recovery, a car was coming up (I mean, it is a street, and people do live on it and they do have to leave their homes) and there is Kelly just meandering in what seemed like the middle of the road. I have to YELL at her to MOVE OVER there is a car. Cristen does the same thing. This drives me bonkers! SMH. Even when we are just out for a normal run, I question if they have their eyes open. They both meander and don't move over it seems like. Not the cars, the runner. Maybe I am just so aware of my surroundings (thanks dad!) or maybe I just don't want to get SPLAT! with their body parts when the dang car hits them! So we laughed!  They know I am not yelling at them. I am just concerned for their safety. I guess that's another one of my fears...that I will get hit by a car. Oh good grief, did I just go into my fears again...that didn't bode so well for me this morning... here's why...

Left hand

So, on our way back up Stone Quarry on the recovery run after the hills, about the middle of the Ashbury Farms plat, I trip, stumble, something, and fall onto the sidewalk. Face plant. Well, almost. My hands catch me. My knee catches me. I'm not sure what comes flying out of my mouth in terms of profanity and therefore I will apologize to Katie, Kelly and Cristen. And honestly, my first thought was "I hope I didn't rip my pants". Seriously. Forget that I sprained an ankle, or busted my knee cap, or cracked a rib (don't think I fell that hard), but did I rip my pants. My pants. They are my favorite running pants. They are black. They fit perfectly. I love these pants. I don't want them to rip.  Anywho. I am okay. I just lay there on there on the ground. On my back. My knees bent up. Trying to catch my breath. Holding back tears. Holding back the wails of crying that are bursting in my chest. But no. I reach my hands up and Katie, Cristen, and Kelly help me up. And I check my pants. I am fully stitched. Whew!  My hands hurt from where I caught myself. Rocks embedded in my palms. Brush them out. Shake it off a little and start to walking now. I am embarrassed. I feel defeated. Like a failure. Which is stupid because everyone falls. But I was having an "invincible" running moment I am pretty sure before I fell! Damnit! I was not going to fall!  Which is kinda ironic because in yesterdays post, I mentioned the whole "fear of falling/tripping" on a trail run. Well, I fell/tripped on a PAVEMENT run! I guess I can start trail running now that my fear of falling has become real. That outta make Boss Lady happy!

Right hand

Katie takes off at her street. I say to Cristen and Kelly, "I need to run". In my mind I know that I have to do this now. Not later today, not tonight, not tomorrow, but NOW. I have to know that I can still run. Middle of my training. I. CANNOT. STOP. NOW.  

As mentioned above, the fear of getting hit by a car, I pray that doesn't happen. And hopefully the chances of that happening aren't as great as the chance of falling on a run. Please say a prayer. Or don't let me run alone. And if you run with me, stay away from the cars and oncoming traffic. Please. Please. Please!

So with that said, here goes nothing. Again. I am going to go back out there and do it again. I am going to run. I cannot let a stupid fall stop me. Shirley said she fell twice in one week. God help me if I do that. And I am knocking on wood with that thought :/

My hands still hurt. My right hip hurts. My left knee hurts. I am going to be sore.  But I will keep running. Hurt ego and all. Because as Boss Lady just said "you aren't a real runner until you have fallen!" She also said that she will not let me quit. Don't worry, I am not going to let myself quit. It was just a fall after all.

Run. Strong. Don't fall!

-t-